Hola!

Ok so here's the dealio yo'.
I have no idea what I'm doing! Will I be here next year? I donno. Will I be working this year? I donno. Will I get all the classes I need done? I donno. Will I go to grad school after I graduate? Hmm...let's see...yup- that's a big fatty: I donno!

I really don't like being this wishy-washy, believe it or not. I actually enjoy having some basic outline for my life. Maybe this is why I don't have one right now- maybe God's taking me out of a different part of my comfort zone. I've come to like the phrase "don't get comfortable" as odd as it is, because I like the idea of never being complacent. There's a song by Brandon Heath that says:

Comfortable, don’t get comfortable...

Yesterday, this is not yesterday.
You were standing on my shoulders now; you’re standing on the edge.
You’ve been looking for a sign all this time.

I am gonna show you what I mean
I am gonna love like you’ve never seen
You are gonna live like you used to dream
This is your new song

So afraid but you don’t have to be afraid
Even if you make mistakes
You know that I’ll remain
You’ve been looking for a sign all this time.
If you seek you’ll find me every time....

Coz I am gonna show you what I mean
I am gonna’ love like you’ve never seen
You are gonna live like you used to dream
This is your new song

Ah! It's marvelous. I love it. Something I've been trying to think through is that God is the same no matter where you are. Throughout time, throughout your life, He never changes. Who He is to you may change and your relationship may change, but His character remains the same. This is something I learned in Africa. Being over there and worshiping with people that speak a completely differently language, knowing that they were praising the same God I was, was intensely powerful. I remember looking down at my Bible while we were singing and dancing and worshiping with the bush people and thinking, "Wow God! Only something as big and loving and powerful as you could bring people together like this." It was awe-inspiring; it moved me to tears to feel God's power and sovereignty in such a personal way.

Knowing all this about God makes me more aware of the times that I don't acknowledge it or live in a way that reflects I know it. Does that make sense? For example, I realized today as I was walking to my car that I have been turning in job applications for a couple weeks now, but I've only prayed about them once. Whatever job I end up doing I want it to be something that glorifies God and that will be good for me, but I'm not asking God or talking to Him about any of it. I say that I know He's in control of everything, but then I don't act like it. So I had to die to that today; I'm sure tomorrow I'll have to do it again, and each day really.

Also... have ya'll heard the song Reasons Why by Nickel Creek? Cuuzz if not...you should find it and listen to it. It's muy bueno :)